The Sexually Active Teenager – Advice for Supportive Parents

How would you react if you found that your teen son or daughter was sexually active?
Would you be calm and accepting or ground him or her until further notice?

Believe us, both of these reactions are very common and young people don’t have it easy when it comes to informing parents about their sexual activity.

As a result, quite often parents are the last ones to know.

Even though parents are aware that sex will eventually happen for their children, there are those who cannot grasp the idea of their ‘little ones’ in bed with someone.

Unfortunately, this kind of behavior contributes to poorly informed teens about the world of sexuality and intimacy.

It also increases the chances of unsafe sexual intercourse which comes with many different consequences.

Adolescence is the period of life in which most teenagers become sexually active for the first time. Your teen will therefore have a lot of questions and he/she will start to express a lot of different emotions about sex and his/her sexuality.

As parents, we play an important role in shaping their views and thoughts and we need to use this “influence” to help them have a positive experience as much as possible.

Our ultimate goal should be raising children who are aware of their sexuality and the meaning of participating in healthy sexual activity and valuing and respecting their partners.

Of course, talking to our children about this topic is not necessarily straightforward and comes with a lot of challenges, however; it’s important to go through with it both your child’s sake as well as your own peace of mind.

This report has been prepared to help you have your first (and hopefully not last) sex talk with your tween or teen.

We highlight 12 of the most important topics to cover and also offer 5 valuable tips to help make the conversation easier for both you and your child.

Parents Want to Be More Open, but Face Struggles?

Whether it is lack of knowledge or skills or general unawareness, (or some other reason) parents frequently “fail” helping their children to explore their sexuality and sex “backed up” with the right information.

As a result, many teens shy away from expressing their thoughts and emotions about sex in front of their parents and end up entering the confusing world of sex and sexuality with uncertainty.

With this in mind, all parents, regardless of their personal views on sex and sexuality, need to provide their children with the necessary knowledge for this part of their lives.

The sooner you begin talking and removing the stigmas about sex and sexual relationships, the sooner you give your children the needed knowledge for their sexuality and sexual intercourse, the higher their “preparedness” and confidence for what awaits.

To help you improve the communication with your daughter/son on this topic, we have prepared a list with useful tips on when and how to talk with your daughter or son about sex and sexuality.

12 Important Topics to Cover with Your Teen

According to Sutter Health, a non-profit organization from Northern California, talking about sex and sexuality involves covering a set of topics and concepts.

Even though your teen may be familiar with some of them from friends or media, this does not mean that they have gotten the right information. After all, we are our children’s best educators. Here are the recommended topics:

• Male and female systems for reproduction
• Sex
• Pregnancy
• Postponing and abstaining from sex
• Affection without sex
• Safe sex
• Birth control
• Sexual orientation
• STDs
• The emotional impact of negative sex experiences like rape and sexual abuse
• How to recognize a healthy and safe sex life
• The impact of drugs and alcohol on decision-making

How to Have “A Sex Talk” with Your Teen

1. Do not make it a one-time thing
One of the most common parenting mistakes is waiting for the “perfect” moment to have the “sex talk” with their children. However, sexuality is with us from the moment we are born and this does not exclude your child.