Teenage Romance: 10 Tips to Help Your Teen Survive a Breakup

Has your teen recently broken up with their boyfriend or girlfriend or has their summer romance come to an end and they feel betrayed?

Is he or she devastated because their partner left them and cannot cope with their mixed emotions? Has your son or daughter broken up with someone and cannot deal with the burden of hurting someone?

Most teens (and younger people in general) lack the experience and skills to “survive” this period full of conflicting feelings and thoughts. Your daughter or son may have been head over heels with his or her partner and thought it would last forever.

But, reality turned out to be different and they became the disappointed one or the one who disappoints. No matter on which side they find themselves, they can be quite vulnerable and sensitive to the hurt that breakups bring.

Their heart has been crushed by their loved one and things turned out to be worse than you have imagined. Is there something you can do and help your teen go back to his or her ‘normal’ self and be open to love again?

Experts agree that parents are crucial in the child’s recovery period and they can show them how to go through breakups with less suffering.

Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D. and psychologist in private counseling and public lecturing practice in Austin, Texas asserts that parents need to be more mindful of the complexity of their child’s love life.

Namely, there will be periods when the youngster will encounter difficulties and feel unhappy when they lose their temporary harmony.

Without any coping mechanisms and your assistance, the child may battle with a long list of negative feelings, including sadness, emptiness, and heaviness.

By being there for your children when they go through breakups, you are teaching them invaluable life lessons.

Understanding that teen breakups cannot be always be avoided, there are ways to minimize the “suffering”.

This report will focus on the 10 biggest parenting tips to help teens get through breakups.


10 Tips to Help Teens Survive Breakups

1. Listen

According to Jennifer Mattern, magazine writer, essayist, poet, blogger, and nominee for Pushcart Prizes, when the teen is willing to talk about his/her breakup, as parents, we need to be willing to listen.


We need to be their venting space and show them our care and support at all times. By listening to their thoughts and emotions, you are showing them you that you are there for them.


This is very important if we take into account that regardless of the reason for the breakup, this is a rather confusing and unpleasant experience.


When you feel that you cannot listen or do not have the time, recall your own breakups and what you went through and how you felt.


And, never take their suffering for granted and show more understanding- it is what they need in these times of struggle.


2. Support their decisions

No matter if your child initiated the breakup or not, they will be upset and fight against negative feelings. The sadness and despair may feel even stronger if they were not the ones who made the choice to leave from a relationship.


Regardless of what happened, learn to respect your child’s decision and stand by it. They probably have their reasons and it is not our place to interfere with their decisions.


As Amy Morin, psychotherapist and lecturer at Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts advises, never resort to talking them out of their decision just because you liked their partner. What’s more, avoid emphasizing whether they made a wrong choice or not.


It’s important to understand that as parents, there are some mistakes that we need to let our children make, despite our own personal preferences and opinions.


Your teen is growing and turning into a young adult who needs to have well developed decision-making and problem-solving skills to function in today’s society and one way through which they learn is through personal experiences.


3. Be prepared for the turmoil

Even though the child’s personality plays an important role in how they will behave after a breakup, a lot of teens may go through a dramatic phase characterized by angry outbursts, crying, listening to loud music, avoiding food, sleeping too much, etc.


The situation may calm down after several days; however, this does not guarantee that their mood has completely improved. Be prepared to situations when they will feel crushed and moments when they will not be bothered by the breakup and accept what has happened.


When they are struggling, it is the time for you to be supportive and understanding of their emotions. Emphasize that these negative feelings are not a permanent thing and that their love life has just begun.


Explain that there is much more to look forward to in their romantic life, rather than dwell on past relationships that did not work out.


4. Create a “distraction”

Often times, it can be beneficial to create a positive distraction for your teen when all they can think of or talk about is their breakup.